Haruhi - Chapter 4

Chapter 4
What kind of joke is this!? Asking us to meet at nine in the morning on a weekend! Despite that,
though, I still pedaled hard on my bike towards the station. I'm so hopeless!
Being located in the center of town, Kitaguchi station acts as an important railway hub, and
every weekend, the square in front of the station is packed with window-shopping youngsters.
Apart from going to a larger city there's really not much to do in this town besides going to the
mall near the station. It always amazes me how people can live normal lives in this town with so
little to do.
Randomly placing my bike at the closed entrance to the bank, I ran to the turnstiles on the north
entrance of the station. It was still five minutes to nine, but everyone else had arrived.
Haruhi turned her head and said.
"You're late! You've got to be fined!"
"But it's not nine yet."
"Even if you didn't arrive late, the last person to arrive still has to be punished. That's the rule!"
"How come I never heard that rule before?"
"Because I just thought it up!"
Dressed in a long sleeved T-shirt and a short denim skirt, Haruhi looked very cheerful.
"You'll have to treat all of us to drinks."
Placing her arms on her waist with ease, Haruhi looked much more approachable than her usual
scowling self. Unable to argue, I obligingly agreed to her command and led everyone to a nearby
café.
Asahina was dressed in a white sleeveless one-piece dress with a light blue knitted shirt on top.
Her long wavy hair was clipped at the back of her head with a hair clip. Every time she moved, it
would bounce slightly, making her look cute. Her smile gave her an impression of a well
cultured cute young lady. Even her handbag looked trendy.
Standing next to me, Koizumi wore a pink shirt with a jacket on top, as well as sporting a bright
red necktie, making him look very formal. I was irritated but I had to admit he looked rather
cool, plus he's taller than me.
Nagato, as usual, stood in the back wearing her sailor uniform. Even though she completely
viewed herself as a member of the SOS Brigade, technically she was still with the Literature
Club. Hearing her say all those strange things to me the other night made me even more
concerned about her cool expression. By the way, why was she wearing a school uniform even
on the weekends?
As the Mystery Five walked into the café by the roundabout and sat down in our chairs, the
waitress started taking our orders. Only Nagato studied the menu seriously - still no expression
displayed, of course - taking her time to decide. Honestly, the time it took for her to decide on
what to drink was enough to cook a bowl of ramen!
"Almond tea." She finally said.
It doesn't matter what you order, anyway, as I'm the one who's paying.
Haruhi made the following suggestions:
We would split into two parties. If any of us were to find anything that looked mysterious we
were to contact each other at once by cell phone then meet up to discuss what to do next. Once it
was all over a debriefing would be held to review and prepare for further developments.
That was all.
"Now, let's draw lots!"
Haruhi took five toothpicks from the toothpick stand, then using a pen she borrowed from the
waitress, she marked two of the toothpicks. She then wrapped her fingers around the toothpicks
for us to draw.
I drew a marked one; so did Asahina who said while looking at her marked toothpick, "Hmm,
what a combination, huh..."
For some reason Haruhi coldly glared at me and Asahina, and then yelled, "Kyon, you listen, this
is not a date! Be serious, you understand?"
"OK already!"
Did I just show my thoughts to her? Nevertheless, this is great! I danced with joy inside as I saw
Asahina stare at the marked toothpick blushing furiously. Oh yes!
"What exactly are we looking for?" Koizumi asked nonchalantly, while Nagato drank her tea
methodically.
Finishing the last drop of iced coffee, Haruhi lightly flicked the hair behind her ears.
"Anything that looks suspicious. Anything or anyone that looks funny. Also look for portals that
can lead to a different dimensions and aliens disguised as humans."
I nearly spat out the mint tea I was drinking. That's strange, why does Asahina have the same
expression? Of course, Nagato remains the same as always.
"I see." Koizumi said.
Are you sure you really understand?
"So, all we need to do is to look for aliens, time travelers and espers with super-natural powers,
and the traces they left behind on earth. I fully understand." Koizumi said cheerfully.
"That's right! You really are a bright person, Koizumi! It's just like you said! Kyon, you should
learn from him!"
Stop feeding her ego! Annoyed, I looked at Koizumi who only smiled back at me and nodded.
"Alright! Let's go!"
Haruhi shoved the bill at me and strode out of the café.
Though I've said this many times, I've still got to say it:
"Oh boy."
Remember, this is not a date! If I find you going off to have fun with her, I'll kill you! So Haruhi
said, going off with Koizumi and Nagato. We headed East and West respectively. I still don't
know what is it we're supposed to look for.
"What should we do?"
Asahina looked at me, clutching her bag with her hands. I wanted to go home but knew it was
impossible. So, I pretended to think for a while before saying, "It's pointless just standing here,
so let's take a walk around."
"OK."
Asahina obligingly walked with me. She was hesitant when walking with me shoulder to
shoulder. Every time when she accidentally bumped into my shoulder she would recoil shyly.
She looked so innocent like that. We followed a path by the riverbank and aimlessly headed
north. If we had come a month ago, we could've still enjoyed the blooming of cherry blossom
trees, but now it's just a plain riverside walk.
As this is a popular spot for walking there are many families and couples walking along. If one
didn't know, they would think we're a young couple, and not a group looking for something
mysterious.
Looking at the riverside, Asahina murmured softly to herself, "This is the first time I've had a
walk like this!"
"What do you mean?"
"......That is, with a guy, just the two of us......"
"That really surprises me. Could it be that you've never gone out with a guy before?"
"No..."
I turned towards Asahina whose soft hair was lightly fluttering in the wind and asked, "Wow!
But there are plenty of guys who've confessed to you, right?"
"Um..."
Asahina shyly lowered her head. "But, it can't work. I can't involve myself in a relationship with
anyone, at least not at this time..."
She went quiet suddenly. As I waited for her to continue three merry couples walked by.
"Kyon-kun..."
I was already counting the number of leaves that had fallen on the river when Asahina called to
me.
Asahina looked at me abashedly, and then, bracing herself, she said, "I have something to tell
you."
Her round, deer-like eyes revealed her strong determination.
We sat on a bench by the cherry blossom trees and for a long time Asahina didn't speak. She
lowered her head and muttered, "Where should I begin? I'm not good at explaining things.
Maybe he won't believe me."
Finally she lifted her head and started talking in a slightly embarrassed tone. "I'm not from this
time and age. I am a person from the future. I can't tell you when I arrived from, or from which
temporal plane. I wouldn't be able to anyway, even if I wanted to. Conveying any information
regarding the future with any person from the past is strictly forbidden - and that's why - before
boarding the time machine I had to go through stringent mental conditioning. If I intended to say
anything that shouldn't be said, my memory concerning that information would be sealed."
Asahina took a deep breath and continued, "Unlike the water flowing in a river, every time frame
is made up of different two-dimensional flat planes."
"You lost me from the beginning."
"Hmm, how about this, try to imagine it like a cartoon. When we're watching a cartoon we see
the characters within move seamlessly but, in fact, they're all created from a series of still
images. Similarly, time is like that, a digitized version. But if I use a series of still images as a
description maybe you'll understand better."
"Between one time frame and another there are so-called temporal fault lines. They do exist,
even though the frequency of the fault lines is near zero; so, there is no continuity between
different time frames. Time traveling is the attempt to make a three-dimensional movement
between the two-dimensional temporal planes. For me who has arrived from the future to this
temporal plane, it is like adding an extra object, drawn onto the still image. Even if I attempted to
change history in this age it would not affect the future, because there is no continuity between
the time frames. Everything would stay in this temporal plane. It's like trying to add a few words
on a still image from hundreds of still images: the overall story wouldn't be affected, right?"
"Time is unlike this river here: every moment belongs to a digitized temporal plane. Are you
following me now?"
I hesitated on whether to place my hand on my forehead, which I eventually did. Temporal
plane, digitized. These terms don't matter to me, but, what's with the time traveling?
Asahina glanced at the toes on her sandals and continued, "Let me tell you the reason I've come
to this temporal plane..."
A couple with a young child passed by us at that moment.
"Three years ago we detected the occurrence of a huge time-quake. Hmm, it should be around
three years before today, just when Suzumiya-san entered junior high. We were shocked when
we traveled back to investigate, because we were unable to travel any further into the past."
How come it's three years ago again?
"We came to a conclusion that there exists a massive temporal fault line, but we don't know why
it only appears at that specific time frame. It's only recently that we discovered the reason...sorry,
I meant recently for the age that I came from."
"...And why is that?"
The culprit couldn't be her, could it?
"It's because of Suzumiya-san."
Asahina said the words I didn't want to hear.
"She is located right at the center of the fourth dimension. Please don't ask me why, since it's
forbidden, so I can't tell you. However, we're certain that it's Suzumiya-san who has blocked the
passage for traveling to the past."
"...I don't think Haruhi is capable of such a thing..."
"Neither did I. Honestly, it's impossible for a normal human to interfere with the temporal
planes. This is still an unsolved mystery, and Suzumiya-san herself is unaware that she is the
source of all the temporal distortions and time-quakes. I came to Suzumiya-san's side so that I
could closely observe any new changes to the temporal planes...I'm sorry, I couldn't find any
better words to describe it, let's just say I'm in charge of surveillance."
"......" I was too speechless to respond.
"You don't believe me, do you?"
"No...right, so why are you telling me this?"
"Because you have been chosen by Suzumiya-san."
Asahina turned and faced me,
"I can't go into the details. But, if I've guessed correctly, you are a very important person to
Suzumiya-san. There is a reason for everything that she does."
"Then Nagato-san and Koizumi are..."
"They are similar to me, but Suzumiya-san is still unaware that she is the one who has gathered
us to her side."
"Then do you know what they are?"
"That's classified information."
"What would happen if we just leave Haruhi alone?"
"Classified information."
"Since you're from the future, you should know what happens next, right?"
"Classified information."
"What if I told Haruhi all this?"
"Classified information."
"..."
"I'm sorry, I really can't tell you. Especially right now, since I don't have the right to do so."
Asahina said with an apologetic look on her face.
"It doesn't matter even if you don't believe me; I'd just like to let you know about this."
I remember hearing the same things being said inside a dull, quiet apartment.
"I'm sorry."
Seeing that I was silent, Asahina's eyes look depressingly red.
"I'm so sorry, for suddenly telling you all this."
"It's okay, really......"
First there's Nagato telling me she's a Living Humanoid Interface created by aliens, now there's
Asahina claiming she's from the future. How am I supposed to believe that? Somebody, help me!
When I placed my hand on the bench, I accidentally touched Asahina's hand. Even though I only
brushed her tiny fingers, Asahina retracted her fingers as fast as lightning, and lowered her head.
We then silently stared at the river.
Time passed by.
"Asahina-san."
"Yes...?"
"Can I pretend this conversation never happened? Whether I believe you or not, let's put this
aside for now."
"OK."
A smile came from Asahina's face. It was a very beautiful smile.
"As things go, this is the best solution. Please treat me as you have always done, I'm counting on
you."
That said, Asahina bowed deeply to me. Hey, there's no need to go so far!
"Can I ask you one thing?"
"What is it?"
"Please tell me your real age."
"Classified information~"
Asahina smiled naughtily.
"Classified information~"
Afterwards, we took a stroll around the streets. Despite Haruhi's pleas not to go on a date, I didn't
intend to follow them. We went window shopping at the fashion stores in the mall, merrily ate
some ice cream, and had a look around the souvenir stalls by the street side......the typical things
a couple would do to kill time. It would have been perfect if only we could hold each other's
hands...
At this moment my cell phone rang: it was Haruhi.
"We'll meet at noon, at the station where we met this morning."
She hung up after saying that. I looked at my watch, and it was already eleven fifty. There's no
way we're going to make it!
"Was it Suzumiya-san? What'd she say?"
"She said we need to meet again at noon, so we'd better hurry!"
I grabbed Asahina's hand, knowing that we had no chance to make it by noon unless we ran, and
we took off running towards the station. What reaction would Haruhi have, If she saw us running
hand in hand? I wonder. I guess she'd go insane.
"So, any results?" Haruhi questioned us, as we arrived.
We were ten minutes late, and that was the first thing Haruhi said when she saw us. She seemed
rather pissed.
"Did you find anything?"
"Nothing."
"Did you really even look? You didn't just stroll around, did you? What about Mikuru-chan?"
Asahina shook her head.
"Then what have you guys found?"
Haruhi went silent. Koizumi, standing behind her, scratched his head, while Nagato stood
motionlessly.
After a few moments of no one saying anything Haruhi nearly growled, "Let's have lunch first
then we'll continue after that."
You still want to continue!?
As we had our lunch in a burger shop Haruhi said it was time to draw lots again, and drew out
some extra toothpicks she'd nicked from the café earlier in the morning. She was really well
prepared!
Koizumi swiftly picked a toothpick.
"Unmarked again."
Such white teeth! I always get the feeling this guy is always smiling!
"So is mine."
Asahina showed me the toothpick she just drawn.
"What about Kyon-kun?"
"Sadly, mine is marked."
Haruhi seemed to get more and more moody and rushed Nagato into drawing a toothpick.
In the end, Nagato and I were grouped together, while the other three were in the other group.
"..."
Haruhi glared at the unmarked toothpick as if staring at the person who killed her father, then
turned towards me and Nagato, who was busy eating her cheeseburger, and scowled.
Why are you so mad?
"We'll meet in front of the station by four. Be sure to find something by then!"
She finished her drink in one gulp, after saying that.
This time we went South and North, with my group in charge of the south side. Before we
parted, Asahina waved one of her little hands at me. It made me feel so warm!
Now it was just me and Nagato standing idly in front of the busy station.
"What should we do?"
"......" Nagato said nothing.
"...Let's go."
I strode forward, and found that she started following. It seems I'm beginning to get used to
hanging out with her now.
"Nagato, about the stuff you told me the other day..."
"What about it?"
"I'm starting to believe it a little."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah."
"......"
So under this empty atmosphere we silently walked around the station.
"Don't you have any casual clothing?"
"......"
"What do you do on holidays?"
"......"
"Are you happy now?"
"......"
That's how our conversation went for that day.
There was no point walking around aimlessly so I took Nagato to a new library by the seaside
that was built at the same time the authorities developed the land for the station. I'd never been
inside before, as I rarely borrowed any books. However, I thought I could get some rest when we
got inside, only to discover that every seat was occupied. These people probably also have
nowhere else to go in their free time. I glanced around the library, looking a bit lost, while
Nagato had already drifted towards the bookshelves like she was sleep walking. Let her do what
she likes!
I used to read often. When I was in elementary school, my mom used to borrow illustrated books
from the children's book section for me to read. There were all sorts of books, but I remember
that all the ones I'd read were quite interesting. However, I can't remember any of their names
anymore. When did I stop reading? When did reading start becoming boring for me?
I randomly picked up a book from the bookshelf and quickly flipped through a few pages, before
putting it back and then picking up another book. It would take me forever to find an interesting
book in this sea of books, if I didn't do any research. Thinking like that, I wandered between the
bookshelves, aimlessly.
As I headed to look for Nagato, I found her reading in front of a bookshelf of thick hardback
books. She really does love thick hardback books!
Finally, after seeing a man reading his newspaper get up from his chair, I went and sat down,
carrying a novel that I had randomly picked. It's impossible trying to read a book I never
intended on reading. A while later, I found myself getting drowsy, and fell asleep.
At that moment my hip pocket suddenly vibrated.
"WHOA!?"
I jumped in astonishment. When I saw everyone frowning at me, I remembered that I was in a
library. Wiping the drool off my face I rushed out of the library and answered my cell phone,
which was set to vibration mode.
"You idiot! What have you been doing!?"
A deafening sound roared through my ear. Thanks to this I awoke from my drowsiness.
"What time do you think it is now?"
"Sorry, I just woke up just now!"
"What!? You dumbass!"
You are the least qualified to call me a dumbass!
I looked at my watch and it was past half past four. She said we were to meet at four!
"Get your asses over here at once! I give you thirty seconds!"
Stop making demands that are impossible to achieve!
After Haruhi roughly hung-up the phone I placed my phone back in my pocket and returned to
the library. There I found Nagato still standing there, reading what seemed like a thick
encyclopedia.
The following was a bit tricky. It took quite some time trying to move Nagato - who seemed
rooted to the spot - and then we had to go to the counter to fill in a form to borrow the book.
During that time I ignored all of Haruhi's phone calls.
When we returned to the station, with Nagato carrying a thick philosophical book like a welltreasured
item, written by some foreign author whose name was very hard to pronounce, the
three people waiting there all had different reactions. Asahina, looking exhausted, smiled with a
sigh of relief; Koizumi shrugged his shoulders like an idiot; while Haruhi yelled as though she'd
just drank some cold soup.
"You're late; pay the fine!"
Do I have to treat you guys again?
Finally, we ended today's outdoor activity, after wasting our time and my money.
"I'm so tired! Suzumiya-san walked so fast that I had a tough time keeping up." Asahina told me
as we parted, and then she whispered in my ear, "Thanks for listening to what I said today." She
then lowered her head and smiled shyly.
Do people from the future all smile so elegantly?
"Then, see you!" Asahina waved goodbye and left. Koizumi softly patted my shoulder and said,
"That was fun today! How should I say this? Suzumiya-san really is an interesting person. It's a
pity I couldn't be with you today, perhaps next time."
After Koizumi left with that annoying grin of his, I discovered Nagato had left already.
That left Haruhi staring at me.
"What have you been doing all day today?"
"Hmm, what have I been doing today?"
"You can't go on like that!"
Looks like she's really pissed.
"Oh yeah, what about you? You found anything interesting?"
Haruhi bit her lip and said nothing. If I didn't stop her she would bite it until her lips bled.
"Well, it's not like they'd be so careless as to let you discover them in one day."
Seeing me trying to lighten the mood Haruhi turned her eyes away quickly.
"We'll have a debriefing the day after tomorrow, in school."
Haruhi turned and walked into the crowd, without looking back.
With the thought of finally being able to go home, I returned to the bank, only to discover my
bike was missing. Replacing it was a sign on the lamppost saying, "Your bicycle has been towed
away as a result of illegal parking."

Haruhi - Chapter 3

Chapter 3
Due to the infamous bunny girl incident, Asahina has become a household name as well in the
school. After taking a day off, she once again boldly appeared in the club room.
As there hadn't been any decent club activities yet, I brought an Othello board, which had been
buried deep in my home, long forgotten, and played some games with Asahina while chatting
with her.
The website is done, but it was as good as useless as there were no visitors, nor a single email.
The computer was only good for surfing the internet. If the guys from the Computer Study
Group ever found out, they'd cry themselves to death.
Sitting next to Nagato Yuki, who as usual is reading her book, I started the third round of Othello
with Asahina.
"Suzumiya-san sure is taking her time." Asahina said softly while still staring at the board.
Seeing that she's not affected by what's happened before, I breathed a sigh of relief. No matter
what, to be able to be in the same room with a cute girl who's one year your senior is enough to
make one giddy.
"There's a transfer student coming in today, I bet she went to look for him."
"Transfer student?"
Asahina raised her head like a little bird.
"Haruhi was excited when she heard that there's a transfer student in Class 1-9. She really seems
to like transfer students!"
I placed a black piece on the board and flipped the white pieces.
"Uh huh..."
"Oh yeah, Asahina-san, I never thought you'd come today!"
"Um... I did hesitate for a while, but I was a bit concerned, so in the end I came."
Where've I heard you say that before?
"What are you concerned about?"
Smack! She flipped one of the board pieces with her tiny fingers.
"Um... nothing."
I turned around and noticed Nagato staring at the board. Her face is static like a clay doll, but
under her glasses, her eyes showed a glare never seen before.
"..."
Her glare was like a new born kitten amazed at seeing a dog for the first time. I traced her vision
towards my hand which was holding the board piece.
"... Nagato-san, you wanna play?"
After I said that, Nagato robotically blinked her eyes and, in a very minuscule way that you
wouldn't have noticed unless you paid very close attention, lightly nodded her head. So I
swapped seats with Nagato and sat besides Asahina.
Nagato picked up one of the pieces and studied it intensely. When she discovered the pieces
would stick together because they were magnetic, she recoiled her hands as if she were
frightened.
"Nagato-san, have you played Othello before?"
She slowly swung her head.
"Do you know the rules then?"
The answer was negative.
"Well see here, as you're holding black, your objective is to surround the white pieces with your
black pieces. And then you flip the surrounded white pieces over and they become black. In the
end, whoever has more pieces wins."
She nodded her head. Afterwards, she elegantly placed the pieces on the board, though she was
kind of clumsy in flipping the opponent's pieces.
After the opponent was changed, Asahina started to appear more anxious. I noticed Asahina's
fingers started to tremble, and she wouldn't dare lift her head to look at Nagato. She would
occasionally take a peek at Nagato and then look away quickly, which she did many times. In the
end maybe Asahina couldn't really concentrate, so black quickly took a clear advantage in the
game.
How come? Asahina seems to be very wary of Nagato, I just don't understand why.
It wasn't long before black won convincingly. Just as the two were to begin another round, the
perpetrator responsible for all the chaos returned with a new sacrifice.
"Hiya, kept ya waiting!"
Haruhi greeted us casually while pulling the sleeve of a male student.
"This is today's new transfer student in First Year Ninth Class, his name is..."
Haruhi suddenly stopped and gave a "it's your cue" look. The sacrifice turned and smiled at us.
"... Koizumi Itsuki, pleased to meet you."
A skinny figure, he gives an impression of an energetic young man. A very contented smile, kind
eyes, and a handsome face. If he should make a pose as a model on those supermarket flyers,
he'll definitely get a lot of fans. If he's a nice guy, he'll be even more popular.
"This is the SOS Brigade club room. I'm the commander, Suzumiya Haruhi. These here are
Subordinates One, Two, and Three. Oh and, you're Number Four, remember to get along well!"
What kind of introduction is that!? The only names mentioned are yours and his only!
"I don't mind joining!"
Koizumi, the transfer student, smiled kindly:
"So what kind of club is this?"
If there were a hundred people here, they'd certainly ask the same question. A lot of people had
come to ask me this question, but I could never find the answer for that. If a person can answer
that skillfully, then he's a talented con artist! Haruhi doesn't seem concerned, however, and
smiled cheerfully at us and said:
"Then let me tell you what the SOS Brigade is about, that is..."
Haruhi slowly breathed in, and then dramatically revealed the shocking truth.
"To find aliens, time travelers and espers, and befriend them!"
The whole world's time seems to have stopped at this moment.
That's a bit of a ridiculous statement. The only thing in my mind was "Just as I thought." But the
other three didn't think so.
Asahina was completely dumbfounded, widening her eyes and ears and stared at the cheery
looking Haruhi. Nagato Yuki was the same, after turning her head towards Haruhi, she stopped
as if she'd ran out of batteries. What surprised me was that Nagato's eyes widened a little bit. For
someone who doesn't show a lot of expression, that is a surprising reaction.
As for Koizumi, he gave a somewhat enigmatic smile; it was hard to know what the smile meant.
A moment later, Koizumi was the first to get back to his senses.
"Ah, I see."
As if he understood something, he looked at Asahina and Nagato, and nodded in comprehension.
"As expected from Suzumiya-san."
After making this ambiguous comment, he continued:
"No problem, I'll join. I look forward to working with you guys."
He smiled showing his bright, white teeth.
Hey! Did you just accept her explanation just like that? Did you really even listen?
Noticing a confused-looking me, Koizumi suddenly came and stretched his hand towards me.
"I'm Koizumi. As I just transferred today, there's still a lot for me to learn. Nice to meet you."
I shook the polite Koizumi's hand.
"Sure, I'm..."
"He's Kyon!"
Haruhi introduced me on her own accord, and then pointed to the other two: "The cute one there
is Mikuru-chan, and the four-eyed one is Yuki-san."
Crash!
A loud noise thundered. It was Asahina who tripped over her chair as she was trying to get up,
and landed her forehead on the Othello board.
"Are you all right?"
Hearing Koizumi's voice, Asahina reacted by turning her head, doll-like, and looking up at the
exchange student radiantly. Hmph! That's pretty annoying, that look.
"... I... I'm fine." Asahina said in a very small tone, looking shyly at Koizumi.
"Great, now we have five members! The school won't be able to do anything about it!"
Haruhi continued:
"Right, the SOS Brigade is open for business! Everyone, let us work together and move
forward!"
What do you mean open for business, missy?
When I noticed, Nagato had already gone back to her seat reading her hardcover book. Nagatosan,
Haruhi has already counted you as a member, are you sure you're OK with that?
After Haruhi said she wanted to take Koizumi for a tour of the school and left, Asahina also said
she had things to do at home, so only Nagato and I remained behind.
I wasn't in the mood to play Othello, and there's not much fun watching Nagato read, so I
decided to go home as well. I picked up my bag and bid my farewell to Nagato.
"I'll be going then!"
"Have you read the book?"
Hearing her say that, I stopped in my footsteps. Turning around, I noticed Nagato Yuki looking
at me with her near expressionless eyes.
"What book? Oh, you mean the thick hardback one you lent me the other day?"
"Yes."
"Oh, I haven't read that... Maybe I should return it to you?"
"There's no need to."
Nagato never minces her words, she always gets straight to the point in one short sentence.
"Remember to read it today."
Nagato said flatly.
"As soon as you get home."
Her voice has a tone of command to it.
Besides those required by Literature classes, I rarely touch novels, but since Nagato
recommended it, it should be quite interesting.
"... All right already!"
Hearing my response, Nagato went back to reading her book.
Which is why, I found myself pedaling my bike as hard as I could in the darkness.
I returned home after saying goodbye to Nagato and went straight to my room after dinner to
start reading the foreign science fiction novel she shoved to me. Just when I was getting dizzy
with the sea of packed words, I decided to flip through the book wondering if I could ever finish
reading this, and a bookmark fell from the book and onto the carpet.
It was a strange looking bookmark with flower patterns printed on it. I flipped it around and
found a line of words written.
Seven o'clock tonight, waiting for you at the park outside the station.
The words are so neat, as though as it has been written by a word processor. This plain looking
handwriting does look like Nagato's, though I'm not certain.
I've had this book for days now. So is the seven o'clock written for seven o'clock that night? Or is
it seven o'clock for tonight? Could it be that she felt that I would eventually find this bookmark
one day and waited in the park every night? Is the reason Nagato wanted me to read the book
tonight is so that I would discover this bookmark tonight? Even then, why didn't she just tell me
directly? Besides, I don't know why she wanted to call me to the park.
I looked at my watch; the time is just past six forty-five. Even though the station is the nearest
one to my school, it would take at least 20 minutes for me to ride my bike there from my place.
I thought about it for about ten seconds.
I stuck the bookmark in my jeans before dashing out of my room and down the stairs like a swift
rabbit. I came to the house entrance to see my sister coming out, carrying a popsicle and asking,
"Where are you going, Kyon-kun?" I answered "The station." hopped on my bike, which was
tied by the door, and rode off to my destination.
If Nagato isn't there, I think I'm going to laugh very loud at myself.
Seems like I won't be able to laugh.
As a careful bicycle rider, it took me till ten past seven to arrive at the park outside the station.
As the park was far from the main road, there weren't a lot of people at this time of day.
Under the noises of the trains and cars, I carried my bike and walked into the park. Under the
lights of the equally spaced lamp posts ahead, I could faintly see Nagato Yuki's slim figure
sitting on one of the long park benches.
She really is the sort of person whose presence is not easily detected. Sitting so quietly in the
park, if one didn't know better she could have been mistaken as a ghost!
Nagato slowly stood up like a string puppet.
She's still wearing her uniform.
"Are you glad I finally came?"
She nodded.
"You couldn't have waited here every day?"
She nodded again.
"... Is it something you can't tell me at school?"
Nagato nodded and then walked in front of me.
"This way."
After these two words, she turned and strode forward. Her way of walking is like a ninja: no
footsteps can be heard at all. I could only reluctantly follow behind Nagato, who has blended
perfectly with the night.
After a few minutes of walking and watching the breeze blow her hair gently, we arrived at a
apartment block very near the station.
"Right here."
Nagato took out her pass and brushed it once against the electronic sensor at the entrance; the
glass door ahead of us opened. I left my bicycle by the entrance and followed closely behind
Nagato, who was already headed to the elevator. Inside the elevator, Nagato seemed to have
something in mind but said nothing, only staring at the floor number board. Finally, the elevator
arrived at the seventh floor.
"Excuse me, but where are we going?"
It was late, but I had to ask. Nagato, who was walking slowly along the corridor, replied:
"My home."
I stopped at once. Wait a minute! Why is Nagato taking me to her home?
"Don't worry, there's no one else inside."
Wait, what's that supposed to mean?
Nagato opened the door to room 708, and then turned to face me.
"Enter."
Are you serious?
I tried to stay calm and entered with trepidation. As I took off my shoes, Nagato pushed the door
shut.
I had a feeling of having just boarded a pirate ship, and I apprehensively turned around at the
ominous sound of the door closing.
"Come in."
Nagato said that flatly and took off her shoes as well. If the apartment had been dark, I could still
have escaped. Alas, it was brightly illuminated, making the wide apartment look even wider.
I guess this must be one of those posh condominiums. To be so near the station, the price had to
be very expensive.
But why does it look as if no one has lived in here?
Besides the living room, which had a small table with a warm blanket, there was nothing else.
There were no curtains on the windows, and no carpet laid over the ten tatami-sized wooden
floor tiles.
"Sit down."
Nagato said before entering the kitchen, so I knelt down beside the living room table.
The reasons a girl might have to invite a boy home while her parents were away from the house
were going through my head, when Nagato, moving like a mechanical puppet, placed a tray with
a small teapot and teacups on the table and sat down demurely in her school uniform, across
from me.
After that, the unbearable silence.
She didn't even pour tea for me, just sat there looking at me expressionlessly. Seeing this, I felt
more and more uneasy.
"Erm... where's your family?"
"There isn't any."
"Well, I see they're not at home... have they gone out?"
"I've always been the only one here since the beginning."
This is the first time I heard Nagato use such a long sentence.
"You can't be living on your own, can you?"
"Yes."
Wow, a first year high school girl living alone in a high class apartment! There must be some
special reason for this, right? I breathed a sigh of relief when I learned that I didn't have to meet
Nagato's parents. Wait a moment! This is not the time to be relieved!
"Oh right, what is it you want to see me for?"
As if remembering something, Nagato began pouring the tea into a cup and pushed it over to me.
"Drink."
I obligingly started drinking the cup of tea. All this time, Nagato watched me like observing a
giraffe in a zoo, so I couldn't concentrate on drinking.
"Is it good?"
"Is it good?"
This is the first time I hear her ask a question.
"Yeah..."
After I finished, I placed the cup on the table, and Nagato refilled it instantly for me. Since she's
refilled it, I might as well drink that. Once I completed, she refilled a third cup for me. Finally,
the tea pot is empty. Nagato stood up about to refill the teapot. I stopped her at once.
"There's no need to refill tea for me anymore, can you please tell me why you brought me here?"
After I said that, Nagato stopped what she was doing and went back to her sitting position like a
video rewinding itself. She still said nothing.
"What is it that can't be said at school?" I asked probingly.
Finally, Nagato moved her thin lips.
"It's about Suzumiya Haruhi."
She straightened her back and sat elegantly.
"And me."
She paused for a while.
I really don't understand her speaking style.
"What is it about Suzumiya and you?"
At this moment, Nagato showed a look of discomfort. This is the first time I've seen her show
such an expression ever since I've met her. However, this emotional upheaval of hers is very
minuscule; one has to be very observant in order to even notice.
"I cannot completely convey this in words, and there may be errors in the transmission of data.
Regardless, listen."
"Suzumiya Haruhi and I are not ordinary humans."
Such an ambiguous sentence so early on in the conversation.
"Well, I more or less realized that already."
"That's not it."
Nagato continued, glancing at her hands lying on her lap.
"I do not mean that in terms of deviations of personality, I mean what I said. She and I are not
ordinary human beings like you."
I don't get what she's trying to say.
"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity, which oversees this galaxy, has created a Living Humanoid
Interface in order to interact with biological entities - me."
"..."
"My work is to observe Suzumiya Haruhi and upload the data obtained to the Integrated Data
Sentient Entity."
"..."
"I have been doing this since I was born three years ago. In the last three years, no particularly
unusual elements were discovered, and things were very stable. However, recently an external
factor has now appeared beside Suzumiya Haruhi that cannot be ignored."
"..."
"And that is you."
What is the Integrated Data Sentient Entity?
In the vast sea of data known as the universe, there exist many highly sentient data entities that
possess no corporeal bodies.
These entities started out in the form of pure data. As all sorts of data gathered together, they
became sentient, and finally they evolved by collecting other data.
As they exist only as data and have no corporeal bodies, they cannot be detected even with the
most advanced optical devices.
As old as the universe itself, they expanded along with it, and the relative database became ever
wider and larger.
Ever since the formation of this planet, sorry, it should be since the formation of this solar
system, nothing in this universe is unknown to them. For them, this planet at the edge of the
Milky Way is nothing special, because there are numerous planets in the galaxy with sentient
organic lifeforms like this one, so numerous that they cannot be counted.
However, as the bipedal lifeform's evolution on the third planet of this solar system became a
success, these lifeforms gradually acquired the mental ability to actively seek knowledge. This
organic lifeform living on the planet known as Earth started to become important.
"For a long time, we have always believed it impossible for organic lifeforms, who have limited
data collection and transmission ability, to be able to acquire knowledge," Nagato Yuki said in a
serious tone.
"The Integrated Data Entity is very interested in all forms of organic lifeforms on Earth. It
believes that by observation, it can find the solution to its own evolutionary dead end."
Unlike the data entities, who have existed since the beginning in their completed form, humans
started off as incomplete organic lifeforms, rapidly evolving by expanding the data that they
possessed and using this data, which is saved and enhanced, to further advance themselves.
It is normal for organic lifeforms all over the universe to become sentient, but only the humans
on Earth have evolved continuously to a highly sentient level. The Integrated Data Entity was
very intrigued by this, and decided to observe these humans further.
"Three years ago, we discovered a very abnormal data hotspot unlike other humans appearing on
the surface of this planet. The information sparks emitted from a certain area in the bow-shaped
archipelago instantly covered the whole planet and started to spread towards outer space. And
the center of all that is Suzumiya Haruhi."
"We do not know why that happened, nor do we know what effects it would have. Even the data
entities are unable to fully process the new data being created."
"More importantly, humans are limited in the amount of data that they can process, yet Suzumiya
Haruhi was able to create a flare of data on her own."
"The release of massive amounts of data from Suzumiya Haruhi continues to happen, at
completely random intervals. Furthermore, Suzumiya Haruhi seems unaware of all this herself."
"For three years, I have gone through all sorts of investigations on the individual known as
Suzumiya Haruhi from all perspectives, but up to now I was still unable to discover her true
identity. Concurrently, other parts of the Integrated Data Entity have determined that she is the
key to the evolution of the data entities and have continued their analysis of Suzumiya Haruhi..."
"As they exist only as entities, they are incapable of speech and are thus unable to interact with
organic lifeforms. But without speech, contact with humans would be impossible, hence the
Integrated Data Entity has created me to act as the communication bridge between them and
humans."
Finally, Nagato picked up her cup and sipped her tea. She has probably said a year's worth of
words for her.
"..."
I don't know how to respond.
"The potential for self-induced evolution may lie within Suzumiya Haruhi; she may even hold
the ability to control all the data around her. This is why I am here, and that is also why you are
here."
My brain is getting so confused, I interrupted:
"I'll be honest, I don't know what on earth you are talking about."
"Please believe me."
Nagato looked at me with a serious expression that I'd never seen before.
"There is a very limited amount of data that can be conveyed through speech. I am just a terminal
interface for the data, living as an organic alien in order to interact with humans. I am unable to
convey all the thoughts of the Integrated Data Entity to you, so please understand."
Even if you say that, I still don't get it!
"I don't understand, why look to me? Let's say I believe you are an alien created by that
whatever-you-call-it entity, but why are you telling me this?"
"Because you have been specifically chosen by Suzumiya Haruhi. Whether she intends to or not,
as an Absolute Data Entity, she can influence the environment around her based on her thoughts
alone. There must be some reason why you have been chosen."
"No, there isn't!"
"There is. Perhaps for Suzumiya Haruhi, you play an important pivotal role. The endless
possibilities are now in the hands of both you and Suzumiya Haruhi."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
For the first time, I carefully studied Nagato Yuki's face. I thought she never liked talking, but
now that she has opened her floodgates and let her words flow, they were all words that I could
not understand. I always felt that she was queer in some way, but after hearing this speech, I
discovered her queerness was beyond imagination.
Integrated Data Sentient Entity? Living Humanoid Interface?
Give me a break!
"Okay, I think you should tell this directly to Haruhi, I bet she'd be very delighted. To be frank,
I'm not that interested in these topics, sorry about that."
"The majority of the Integrated Data Entity speculates that if Suzumiya Haruhi becomes aware
of her own powers and existence, an unforeseen crisis might occur; hence, at this stage we have
opted to continue observing."
"There's a chance I'd tell all of this to Haruhi! I really don't get it, why tell me all this?"
"Even if you tell her, it is likely she would ignore it."
It is likely indeed.
"I'm not the only alien placed on Earth by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity. The Entity intends
to take a proactive role and observe any changes in the flow of data. For Suzumiya, you are an
important person. If there is any sign of a crisis looming, I will look to you first."
Sorry, count me out.
Please excuse me, thanks for the tea, it was nice.
Seeing me about to leave, Nagato didn't stop me.
She lowered her head and glanced at her teacup, reverting back to her normal expressionless
mode. I guess it was my imagination, but for some reason, I actually thought she looked kind of
lonely.
When my mom asked me where I'd been, I gave a brief reply and went straight to my room.
Lying on my bed, I began to recall everything Nagato said.
If I believed what she said, then that would make Nagato Yuki a being that is not of this world;
in other words, an alien.
Isn't this exactly the sort of mystical being that Suzumiya Haruhi has been working so hard to
look for every day?
And all this time it was all right under our noses.
... Heh... Damn it! I sound like an idiot!
My eye caught the thick hardback novel that was thrown on the corner of the bed. I picked it up
with the bookmark and had a glimpse at the cover art before placing it by my pillow.
Nagato must have picked up all those weird fantasies from reading all those science fiction
novels all alone in her apartment for so long. She probably never talks to anyone in her class,
imprisoning herself in her own mind. She ought to put down her book, get out and make some
friends, and enjoy the wonderful school life. Her lack of expression is not helping in getting
along with people, and she would look very cute if she'd only smile.
I think I'll return the book to her tomorrow... Forget it, since I've borrowed it, I might as well
finish it.
The following day after school.
As I was on duty that day, I arrived at the club room later than usual, and the first thing I saw
was Haruhi toying around with Asahina.
"Hold still! Damn it! Be a good girl and don't move!"
"N... nooo! H... help~~"
Haruhi had nearly stripped a struggling Asahina of her uniform.
"KYAA!!!"
Asahina screamed when she noticed me arriving.
The moment I saw Asahina with only her bra and panties on, I immediately turned around and
shut the half-opened door.
"Sorry about that."
After waiting outside the door for ten minutes, the duet of Asahina's cute moans and Haruhi's
ecstatic exclamations came to an end. Haruhi's voice passed through the door.
"All right, you can come in now."
As I reentered the room, I stopped in astonishment.
There greeting me inside was the sight of a beautiful maid.
Dressed in a maid costume, Asahina sat on the steel chair with tears in her eyes. After sadly
looking at me, she lowered her head.
A white apron coupled with a wavy skirt, a blouse, and white stockings only served to make her
more adorable. The lacy headband and the large butterfly-knot increased her charm.
Such an impeccable maid!
"Well? Isn't she cute?"
Haruhi said as if praising her own handiwork, while caressing Asahina's hair.
I wholeheartedly agree. No offense to poor Asahina, but she really does look cute in that.
"This costume's great, isn't it?"
"No, it isn't!" Asahina protested softly, yet I pretended I didn't hear her and turned to Haruhi.
"Why are you dressing her up as a maid?"
"Because maid costumes are sexy!"
Stop giving such ambiguous answers!
"It took me a long time to think of this, you know?"
Even if you didn't think at all, it wouldn't make much of a difference.
"In a play where the school is the main stage, there's bound to be an adorable character like
Mikuru-chan. In other words, the story won't be able to take off without her, you get it? Mikuruchan
is already gentle and cute, but unless you dress such a cute schoolgirl with a great figure in
a maid costume, you won't get people's attention. Now everyone's going to fall in love with her
when they see her. With this, we'll be sure of victory!"
Anyway, what is it that you are trying to win, exactly?
As I was thinking of how to respond, Haruhi took out a digital camera out of nowhere and started
taking souvenir shots.
Asahina blushed bright red and shook her head violently.
"P... please stop shooting!!!"
Asahina-sempai, you're wasting your time begging for mercy from Haruhi, even if you bow and
kneel, because she's the sort who will carry on doing what she's thought out, no matter what.
As expected, Haruhi had Asahina perform all sorts of poses for her photo session.
"Sniff..."
"Now look over here! Lower your chin a bit! Lift up your apron! Yes, that's a good girl! Smile a
bit more!"
Haruhi ceaselessly gave out her orders to Asahina while simultaneously pressing down on the
camera shutter. If I had asked her where she got this digital camera from, she'd definitely say
she'd had it "obtained" somewhere. More like stolen, I guess.
Amidst Haruhi's photo shooting frenzy, Nagato Yuki sat in her seat reading as always. Despite
her confusing conversation with me last night, seeing her usual coolness I breathed a sigh of
relief.
"Kyon, your turn to shoot."
Haruhi handed the camera to me and turned towards Asahina. Then, like an alligator slowly
approaching an unsuspecting bird, she closed her arms around Asahina's shoulders.
"Ah..."
Haruhi smiled to a shrugging Asahina.
"Mikuru-chan, try to look a little cuter, OK?"
That said, Haruhi proceeded to loosen Asahina's ribbon, then quickly unbuttoned three buttons
on her blouse. Almost instantaneously revealing Asahina's large bosom.
"W-wait! No... what are you doing...!?"
"Don't worry, it doesn't really matter, does it?"
Of course it matters, missy!
In the end, Asahina was forced to place her hands on her lap and slightly lean forward. Faced
with Asahina's well-endowed bust, which was in stark contrast to her small body and cute face, I
quickly turned my eyes away. But I wouldn't have been able to take any pictures that way, so
faced with no choice, I turned my eyes back to the camera and pressed the shutter repeatedly as
Haruhi had ordered.
Poor Asahina was made to perform poses which further emphasized the curves on her breasts,
and she was so embarrassed her face got even redder. Yet, even as she was about to cry, she still
tried her clumsiest best to smile, giving out a charm never seen before.
Damn it, I think I'm quickly falling in love with her.
"Yuki-chan, lend me your glasses."
Nagato Yuki slowly lifted her head, then slowly took off her glasses and gave them to Haruhi,
and then slowly moved her gaze back to her book. Can you even read without glasses?
Haruhi took the glasses and placed them on Asahina's face.
"The glasses would look better if they're slightly tilted. There, that would be perfect! Kyon,
remember to take more pictures of the four-eyed, innocent and well-endowed maid!"
Putting aside the argument of whether to take the photos or not, just what do you intend to do
with the photos of Asahina in a maid costume anyway?
"Mikuru-chan, from now on you are to wear this costume every time you come for club
activities!"
"How could you..."
Asahina tried her best to express refusal, but Haruhi grabbed her and caressed her face endlessly.
"Who asked you to be so cute? Man, even a girl like me can't resist doing this to you now!"
Asahina screamed and tried to escape, but to no avail, being at the mercy of Haruhi's molesting
hands.
Damn, Haruhi, I'm so jealous of you. No, wait, how can I even think like that!? I should be
trying to save her!
"All right, I think it's time for you to stop now!"
I tried to pull Haruhi away from her sexual harassment of Asahina, but she just wouldn't let go.
"That's enough, stop it already!"
"Does it matter? Why don't you join in as well?"
Not a bad idea actually, but seeing Asahina's face going white, I naturally said nothing.
"Whoa, what's going on here?"
Turning around, I saw Koizumi Itsuki standing at the entrance with his bag.
He looked amusedly first at Haruhi, whose hands were moving onto Asahina's breasts; then at
me, who was trying to stop Haruhi's madness; then to Asahina in a maid costume, trembling
nonstop; and finally to Nagato, who remained unfazed, peacefully reading her book even without
her glasses.
"Is this some sort of club activity?"
"Koizumi, you came at just the right time! Let's play with Asahina!"
What on earth are you talking about!?
Koizumi only grinned. Please, if you actually agree with Haruhi's suggestions, then you've got
some serious issues.
"No thanks, seems pretty scary to me."
Koizumi placed his bag on the table and unfolded one of the chairs by the wall.
Koizumi: "Is this some sort of club activity?"
"Mind if I just sit and watch?"
He sat with his legs crossed and looked at me as if he were watching a parade.
"Don't mind me. Please, continue."
No! You got it all wrong! I'm not trying to molest Asahina! I'm trying to save her!
Eventually, I was able to squeeze in between Haruhi and Asahina, and frantically picked up
Asahina just in time before she fell on the ground. I was amazed by how light Asahina was as I
placed her back on her seat. Asahina's maid costume was ragged and untidy, and she looked
totally worn out, but honestly speaking, I thought she looked rather sexy.
"Oh well, we've taken plenty of photos anyway."
Asahina was so exhausted that she just weakly collapsed on the table. Haruhi took off the glasses
from her cute face and returned them to Nagato.
Nagato silently received the glasses, putting them back on without saying a word. It's as though
her endless speech last night never happened. She was fooling with me last night, wasn't she?
"Right, let's now begin the first SOS Brigade meeting!"
Haruhi, who was standing on the commander's seat, suddenly shouted. Please stop startling
people by suddenly shouting!
"Before this, we've already done a lot of work. Like distributing flyers and setting up the
webpage, the SOS Brigade's reputation in the school has soared sky high, so I announce phase
one of the work to be a great success."
How can making Asahina mentally scarred be called a success!?
"But our inbox has yet to receive a single email about any mysterious events, and no one has yet
come to us to discuss their concerns with their experiences."
Reputation alone doesn't help a lot, since until now, not everyone knows what this club is all
about. Besides, the school doesn't even recognize this club!
"There used to be a saying that 'patience is virtue', but times have changed. Even if we have to
turn the earth around, we'll find them on our own. So everyone, let's begin searching!"
"... What are we looking for?"
Since no one else asked, I decided to do it myself.
"To find out all the mysterious events of this world! As long as we try hard, we'll be able to find
one or two events in this town!"
Your thinking is a mystery in itself, missy!
I displayed my reluctance, Koizumi only smiled enigmatically, Nagato remained wooden faced,
while Asahina seemed resigned to her fate, too exhausted to answer. Ignoring everyone's
reactions, Haruhi waved her arms and yelled:
"This Saturday, which is tomorrow! We meet outside the north station before nine in the
morning! Don't be late! Absentees will be executed!"
Sigh, not the death penalty again?
What did Haruhi do with Asahina's maid costume photos? I'm sure most of you have guessed,
the stupid girl intended to upload all of them onto the webpage so that they could attract people
to the website for discussion.
When I discovered this, she had just finished uploading them all on the front page to welcome
visitors. She was even typing in the personal details.
Do you know what you're doing!? This could alert a lot of people!
I tried my best to stop her foolish behavior and had all the images removed. If Asahina had
known that images of her posing sexily in her maid costume had been spread all over the world,
she'd probably faint on the spot.
I quickly warned her about the dangers of putting personal details on the web, and amazingly for
once, Haruhi actually paid attention and listened to me seriously. Eventually, as if to spite me,
she said rather grumpily:
"I know that already!"
She then very reluctantly allowed me to remove the images from the page. At this moment, I
should have been deleting all of Asahina's photos, but it would have been too much of a pity
doing that. Hence, I secretly saved them all in a file document within the computer's hard drive
and had it protected with a password.
Only I can view those photos!

Haruhi - Chapter 2

Chapter 2
From the results, my premonition had come true.
After class, Haruhi didn't disappear instantly from the classroom as usual. This time she
forcefully took my hand and dragged me out of the classroom, through the corridors, up the
stairs, and finally stopped in front of the door leading to the rooftop.
That door is usually locked, and the staircase above the fourth floor seems to have been used as a
storage room by the Art Club. Giant canvases, near broken picture frames, statues of war gods
with missing noses and such are all piled up in this little staircase, making what is supposed to be
a narrow space even narrower.
What is she trying to do to me by bringing me here?
"I need your help."
Haruhi said this while grabbing my tie. With her sharp glare aimed at the lower part of my head,
I got the feeling she was threatening me.
"Help you with what?"
I feigned ignorance.
"Help me make a new club!"
"OK, then tell me, why must I help you complete something that you just suddenly thought up?"
"Because I need to secure a room for the club as well as members, so you need to find out what
paperwork needs to be done for the school."
She wasn't even listening. I cast off Haruhi's hand.
"What club are you trying to make?"
"It doesn't matter! What's important is to make a club first."
I really doubt that the school would let us form a club whose activities are unknown.
"Now listen! After school today, you go and find out what needs to be done, and I'll go and find
a room for the club. Okay?"
'NO!'
If I had replied like that, I was sure I would be killed. While I was hesitating on how to answer,
Haruhi had already turned and walked down the stairs, leaving a disoriented male student
standing all alone on the dust-filled staircase.
"... I haven't even agreed to help..."
Sigh, saying this to a plaster statue is pointless. I could only drag my heavy feet, thinking about
how I would explain all this to my curious classmates.
Requirements for organizing an "association":
Five members or more. A sponsor teacher, club name, chairperson for the club, and club
activities/goals summary are required—which then requires approval from the Student Council
Executive Committee. The club's activities must fit in with the school philosophy of creativity
and vivaciousness. Based on the activities' records and results, the Executive Committee would
debate on whether to promote the association into a "study group." Furthermore, as an
association, the school will not provide any funding.
I didn't have to explicitly search for the requirements because they are all listed out on the back
of the student handbook.
Members are easy; we can just find anyone to make up the numbers, so that won't be a problem.
A sponsor teacher is harder to find, but I think I can manage that. As for the name, something
inoffensive would do. And the chairperson for the club is, no doubt, Haruhi herself.
I am willing to bet, however, that our club activities/goals summary is definitely not going to
agree with "creativity and vivaciousness."
That being said, it's not as if Haruhi is the kind of person who cares about the rules.
As the bell rang for the end of classes, Haruhi showed off her horrifyingly brutish strength by
gripping my jacket's sleeve and pulling me out of our classroom at kidnapping speed. It took
great effort to make sure that I didn't leave my school bag in the classroom.
"Where are we going?"
I asked because, well, I'm normal after all.
"The Club Room."
Haruhi, so full of energy that she was able to kick away the slow moving people in front of us,
simply answered with a short sentence, then kept her mouth shut. Please, can you at least let go
of my hand first?
After we exited the first floor hallway, we went into another building and up the stairs. We
walked into a dark hallway and at its center, Haruhi stopped. Of course, I stopped too.
There is a door in front of us.
Literature Club
The crooked name tag is pasted on the door.
"Here it is."
Without even knocking, Haruhi opened the door and walked into the classroom without any
consideration. Of course, I followed her inside.
The room is surprisingly large, or maybe it seems that way because it only contains a rectangular
table, metal chairs, and a bookshelf. A few cracks on the ceiling and the walls showed how
ancient the building is.
Just as if she came with the room, a girl was sitting alone on a metal chair, reading a very thick
hardcover book.
"From now on this will be our club room."
Haruhi opened her arms and announced formally. Her face was shining with that energetic smile.
'If only she would show that smile in class...' despite that thought, I didn't dare to say it out loud.
"Wait a second, what is this place?"
"The Cultural and Arts club building. This place has art and music rooms for the Art Club and
the Orchestra Club. Clubs and associations without a regular club room all hold their activities
here in this building, known as the Old Complex. And this classroom belongs to the Literature
Club."
"Then what about the Literature Club?"
"After all the third year students graduated this spring, the club had zero members. As no new
members were recruited, the club was going to be canceled. By the way, she's a first year who's
their only new member."
"Then they haven't been canceled yet!"
"Close enough! A club with only one member is the same as none."
You idiot! Are you trying to take over other people's club rooms? I took a quick look at the
Literature Club girl.
She was a girl with glasses and short hair.
Haruhi was already this loud. The girl, however, didn't even lift her head once. Apart from
occasionally flipping the pages with her fingers, she appeared stationary, completely ignoring
our presence. It seemed that this girl was strange as well!
I lowered my voice and asked Haruhi:
"Then what about that girl?"
"She said it doesn't matter!"
"Really?"
"I asked her already at lunch time. I said I need her to lend me the room and she said 'go ahead,'
as long as she can read her book here in peace. Now that you mention it, she is pretty weird."
For you of all people to say that!
I observed the weird Literature Club girl carefully this time.
She had pale skin and an expressionless face. Her fingers were moving rhythmically like a robot.
Just covering her pretty face, her short hair made one want to take off her glasses for a clearer
view. She gave the impression of an inconspicuous puppet. In other words, a mysterious and
expressionless weirdo!
Perhaps noticing my intrusive observation, the girl suddenly lifted her head and pushed the nose
bridge of her glasses up with her fingers.
I saw her deep-colored eyes staring at me from under those lenses. Neither her eyes nor her lips
showed any expression at all, almost like a mask. She was different from Haruhi—her face is the
kind that fundamentally shows no sign of emotion.
"Nagato Yuki."
Her tone suggested that her name would be forgotten by most people within three seconds of
hearing it.
Nagato Yuki stared at me for a moment; then as if losing interest, she turned her attention back
to her book.
"Say, Nagato-san," I called out, "This girl here wants to use your club room for a yet-to-benamed
club. Is this all right with you?"
"Yes."
Nagato's gaze never left her book once.
"But it might be troublesome for you."
"It doesn't matter."
"Maybe you'll even be evicted?"
"Please feel free."
Even though she answered promptly, she showed no expression. It seemed to me that she really
didn't give a damn about it.
"Okay, then it's decided," Haruhi suddenly interrupted.
She sounded really hyper, giving me a bad feeling.
"From now on, we will meet in this room after class. Be sure to come! Or you're as good as
dead!"
She said with a smile like the blooming cherry blossoms. I reluctantly nodded my head.
Please, I don't want to die yet!
So we've now found a club room, but there was absolutely no progress with the paperwork. We
still hadn't decided on a club name or what activities it intended to hold. I had asked Haruhi to
sort these things out first, but she seemed to have other ideas.
"We can decide on all that later!" Haruhi declared loudly. "Right now the most important thing is
to recruit members. We still need at least two more people."
So, you've already counted the Literature Club girl in as well? You couldn't possibly have treated
Nagato Yuki as a mere club accessory, could you?
"Don't worry about that. I'll be able to gather people soon; I already have someone in mind."
How can I not worry? My unease has become even more profound!
The next day after school, after turning down Taniguchi and Kunikida's offer to walk home with
them, I reluctantly dragged my heavy feet and headed towards the club room.
Haruhi only said "You go first!" and rushed out of the classroom with a speed that the Athletic
Club so badly needed. She was so fast that I wondered if she had added boosters in her shoes. I
didn't know whether she was in a hurry to find new club members, or whether she was just plain
excited that she had taken a step forward in meeting extraterrestrials?
On the other hand, I could only carry my bag, so I moved slowly towards the Literature Club
room.
Entering the club room, I discovered Nagato Yuki already inside, sitting in the same position
while reading her book. I slowly approached her, but as with yesterday her head was buried in
the book, my presence ignored. Was the Literature Club a pure reading club? Why else would
she be reading all the time?
Silence in the classroom.
"... What are you reading?"
I asked, not being able to stand the silence any longer. Nagato Yuki answered by raising the
book and showing me the cover. My eyes saw a large bunch of dazzling foreign words; it seemed
like some sort of science fiction novel.
"Is it interesting?"
Nagato Yuki pushed her glasses upwards effortlessly before replying in an empty tone:
"Unique."
It seemed that she'd answer anything I asked her.
"Which part?"
"All of it."
"So you like reading?"
"Very."
"I see..."
"..."
Back to silence again.
Can I go home now?
I thought of that while putting my bag on the desk. Just as I prepared to sit down on the steel
chair, the door crashed open like it was being kicked.
"Hey, sorry I'm late! It took me some time trying to catch this gal!"
Haruhi finally arrived, waving one hand at us. Her other hand was holding onto someone else's
wrist— she'd abducted another person! When Haruhi entered the room, for some reason she
locked the door. Click! Hearing that sound, the light-sized girl shuddered uncomfortably.
Wow, she sure is pretty.
She must be Haruhi's "chosen candidate."
"W... what are you doing?"
The girl said, close to tears now.
"W-where is this place? Why did you bring me here? And, w-why are you locking the door?
What do you want with me?"
"Let me introduce her, this is Asahina Mikuru-chan."
"Be quiet!"
Haruhi barked with such force that the girl simply stood in stunned silence.
"Let me introduce her: this is Asahina Mikuru-chan."
After announcing the girl's name, Haruhi stopped talking. Seems like that's all for the
introduction.
Silence once again engulfed the classroom. Haruhi looked satisfied with "a job well done";
Nagato Yuki, as usual, kept reading her book without any reaction; and the girl called Asahina
Mikuru was simply scared silly. Hey, why isn't anyone talking? And so I started the
conversation.
"Where did you abduct her from?"
"This isn't abduction! I just forced her to come with me."
That's the same thing!
"I found her daydreaming in the second year classroom, so I caught her from there. I explore the
corners of the school during recess, so I've seen her a few times already."
So that's what you've been doing during recess time when you're nowhere to be seen in the
classroom. No, wait, now isn't the time to think about this.
"Anyway, she's our senpai!"
"So?"
I looked at her in disbelief. Oh god, this girl doesn't even think about what she's doing!
"Fine then... tell me, why did you need to find her, erm, Asahina-senpai, right?"
"Here, have a look."
Haruhi suddenly pointed towards Asahina Mikuru's nose, causing her to back off instantly.
"Isn't she cute?"
That's something only a dangerous kidnapper would say! That's what I thought of anyway.
"I believe Moe characters are important!" she continued.
"... Excuse me, what did you just say?"
"I said Moe! The factor to turn people on! Basically, most detective stories have some characters
that would turn people on and cause them to be pitied."
I automatically turned and observed Asahina Mikuru: she has a small body and a face that could
easily be mistaken for an elementary school student. Her brown hair is slightly curly, hanging
over her back. Her pair of large puppy dog eyes give out a "please protect me" aura. Her halfopened
lips reveal a row of white ivory-like teeth that, coupled with her small face, create a
perfect combination. If she were given a magic wand with a shiny jewel, she might even
transform into a little fairy! Aargh~, what the hell am I thinking about!?
"And that's not all!"
Haruhi smiled confidently, and then she grabbed Asahina Mikuru from behind with her hands.
"Kyaaa!!"
Asahina screamed instantly. But Haruhi was unmoved, clutching her breasts through her sailor
uniform.
"Aaaaa!"
"She's so small, yet her breasts are larger than mine! A cute face plus large breasts is also an
important factor in turning people on!"
Oh my god, I'm about to faint.
"Wow, they really are big."
Haruhi stuck her hands into Asahina's uniform and started groping. Stop it, you pervert!
"Man, this pisses me off! Her face is so cute, yet her breasts are bigger than mine!"
"H-Help!!"
Asahina blushed bright red. She tried to struggle free with her arms and legs, but her strength
was no match for her harasser. As Haruhi started to move her hands towards Asahina's skirt, I
finally couldn't take it any longer and pulled the perverted girl away from Asahina.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?"
"But they really are huge! It's true! Why don't you give them a go as well?"
Asahina moaned weakly.
"No thanks."
That was all I could say.
What surprised me was, during all this commotion, Nagato Yuki had been reading her book,
never once lifting her head. What is with this girl anyway?
Suddenly, I thought of something.
"Hey, you can't be thinking... the sole reason for bringing Asahina-senpai here is because she's
cute and has large breasts?"
"Why, of course!"
Oh god, you really are an idiot!
"A mascot-like character like her is necessary!"
Necessary my ass! Whoever said that anyway?
Asahina tidied her rumpled uniform and raised her head looking at me. Hey, don't look at me like
that, you're putting me in an embarrassing situation.
"Mikuru-chan," Haruhi asked, "are you with any other clubs?"
"Y... Yes... the Calligraphy Club..."
"Quit that! It'll get in the way of my club activities."
Haruhi! Aren't you a bit too selfish!?
Asahina had the expression of a victim in a certain murder mystery, looking at me with eyes that
begged to be rescued. Then it was as if she suddenly noticed the presence of Nagato Yuki. Her
eyes grew large and showed some hesitation. A moment later, she sighed and whispered in a low
voice:
"I see... I understand."
What did you understand?
"I'll quit the Calligraphy Club, and join your club..."
Her voice was so full of sadness.
"But, I don't know what the Literature Club does."
"We aren't the Literature Club," Haruhi clarified.
Seeing Asahina puzzled, I hurriedly cut in to explain.
"We're just temporarily borrowing this room for our club activities. The club you have joined is
actually a new association that Suzumiya Haruhi will create in the near future. We don't know
what activities there will be; we don't even have a name."
"... What...?"
"Oh, and the one sitting over there, she's the real Literature Club member."
"Oh..."
Asahina stood speechless, her cute mouth half open. Her reaction? Absolutely normal.
"That won't be a problem!"
Cheerful to the point of not being responsible for anything, Haruhi smacked Asahina's shoulder
hard.
"I've just thought of a name!"
"... Okay, let's hear it," I said with zero enthusiasm.
If possible, I really didn't want to hear it! But since I've already asked, Suzumiya Haruhi used her
clear voice to loudly announce the name that she just thought up.
As everyone knows, it all began as a result of Suzumiya Haruhi's simple and naive vision, and no
other reason. And so... the name of our new club has been decided:
The SOS Brigade!
Sekai wo
Ooini moriagerutame no
Suzumiya Haruhi no Dan
The Spreading Excitement All Over the World with Suzumiya Haruhi Brigade, abbreviated as
SOS Brigade.
You can all laugh now.
But before I could even do that, I stood dumbstruck.
Why is it called "Brigade"? It should be "Spreading Excitement All Over the World with
Suzumiya Haruhi Association", but since the club still hadn't satisfied the minimum requirements
to become an association and no one was sure what the club was all about, Haruhi simply replied
"If that's the case, then let's call it a brigade!" And so the club name was now gloriously born.
Upon hearing the name, Asahina closed her mouth dejectedly. Nagato Yuki could be counted as
an outsider, and I didn't know what to say. And so, the motion for the new club name was
passed, with one for and three abstentions. The SOS Brigade is now open for business! This is
such a wonderful occasion!
Hmph, do whatever you like!
After saying "Be sure to meet here after school everyday!", Haruhi called it a day. Asahina's
shoulders drooped, her lifeless figure walking along the corridor further giving off an impression
of sadness. I couldn't bear seeing that, so I called out to her.
"Asahina-senpai."
"Yes?"
Asahina looked at me with her innocent face, which didn't even look older than mine.
"You don't have to join such a weird club if you don't want to! You don't need to mind her; I'll
try to find a way to explain to her."
"No."
She stopped, winked, and smiled:
"It's all right. I want to join."
"But, this could be a boring club!"
"It doesn't matter; haven't you joined as well?"
No! Whether I joined or not is not the issue here!
"Perhaps, this is the absolute outcome on this Temporal Plane..."
She said with her round eyes staring far off in the distance.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Besides, I'm interested in Nagato-san's presence..."
"Interested?"
"Eh? No, nothing."
Asahina shook her head in trepidation, shaking her wavy hair along.
Then Asahina smiled, looking embarrassed, and gave me a deep bow.
"I may be of trouble, so please bear with me from now on."
"You don't have to do that... you'll put me in a difficult position..."
"Please call me Mikuru from now on."
She smiled.
Man, she's so cute that I'm getting dizzy!
The following is a conversation I had with Haruhi one day.
"You know what we need next?"
"Who knows!"
"I'm thinking of finding a mysterious transfer student."
"Please tell me the definition of a 'mysterious' transfer student."
"Those that get transferred two months after the school term has started are definitely mysterious
transfer students. What do you think?"
"Maybe it's because their parents got a job transfer and they just had to come along."
"No, that would be too forced and unnatural!"
"Then what is natural for you? I'd really like to know."
"Mysterious transfer student... will they ever appear?"
"You never really listen to what I say, do you!?"
Rumors started to flow in the school that Haruhi and I were plotting something.
"Hey, just what are you up to with Haruhi?"
Taniguchi would ask that.
"You aren't in a romantic relationship, are you?"
Absolutely not! To be honest, I too, would like to know what on earth I am doing!
"Try not to do anything too ridiculous, you're no longer junior high students! If they find out that
you vandalized the school trackfield or something like that, you might get suspended!"
If it were Haruhi acting alone, I could simply ignore her. But now there's Nagato Yuki and
Asahina Mikuru to take care of— I can't risk them getting involved. When I realized I was so
considerate of them, I suddenly felt so proud of myself.
But the thing is, there is no way that I can stop the insane Haruhi!
"I so want a computer!"
Ever since the SOS Brigade was founded, the Literature Club room started to have more and
more stuff besides the rectangular table, steel chairs and book shelf.
In the corner now stood a portable hanger cabinet, a flask and cups, a teapot, a CD/MD playing
radio, a freezer, sound recorder, cooking pan, bowl, and all sorts of cooking utensils. Now what?
Does she plan for us to live here?
At this moment, Haruhi is sitting on a desk she nicked from who-knows-where. For some reason,
a black triangular pyramid with the words "Brigade Commander" stood on the desk.
"In this information age, we don't even have a computer. This won't do!"
Whoever said that?
Anyway, all the members were here today. Nagato Yuki was in her usual spot, reading a
hardback book about a minor satellite of Saturn falling down, or something like that. Asahina,
who didn't have to come, had still obediently arrived and was seated on a steel chair, looking
confused.
Haruhi jumped off the desk and ran towards me with a sinister smile.
"Which is why I'm going to obtain one now," Haruhi said, like a hunter looking for its prey.
"Obtain one, you mean a computer? From where? You don't plan on robbing an electronics store,
do you?"
"Of course not! It's going to be somewhere closer!"
"Follow me!" Asahina and I complied with Haruhi's orders and followed her down the corridor,
eventually arriving at the Computer Study Group two rooms away.
I see!
"Here, take this."
Haruhi handed me an instant camera.
"Now listen carefully! I'll tell you the plan, and you must follow it no matter what! You only
have one chance."
Haruhi pulled me down and whispered her "plan" in my ear.
"Wha!? You can't do that!"
"Does it matter?"
Of course it doesn't matter to you, missy! I turned to a puzzled looking Asahina, trying to warn
her by winking at her.
You'd better leave at once!
But Asahina looked surprised at me and started blushing. Oh no, she completely got the wrong
idea.
Just as I was about to save Asahina from certain doom, Haruhi had knocked on the Computer
Study Group room door.
"Hello there! I've come to collect a computer from you!"
The spacing is similar, but compared to our room, this room was narrower. Each of the evenly
spaced desks had a desktop computer on it with CD sound effects. The computer fans whirling
away were the only sounds heard in the room.
The four boys sitting on their seats typing on their keyboards all stuck their heads out towards
the door to see what Haruhi was up to.
"Who's in charge here?"
Haruhi smiled pompously. A male student stood up and answered.
"I'm the president, can I help you?"
"Do I have to repeat myself? I just said: give me a computer."
The nameless Computer Study Group president displayed a "What the hell?" expression and
violently shook his head.
"That won't do. Because the school doesn't fund us enough, these computers are all bought with
our hard-earned money! We can't just give them to you for free. Do you think we're fools?"
"What does it matter? Just one would do, you have plenty anyways!"
"That... wait a moment, who are you guys anyway?"
"I'm Suzumiya Haruhi, Commander of the SOS Brigade, and these two are Subordinate One and
Subordinate Two."
Wait, who decided we're your subordinates!?
"I command you in the name of the SOS Brigade: hand over a computer at once! Don't give me
any excuses!"
"I don't know who you guys are, but absolutely not! You can go buy your own computers!"
"Since you've said that, we have our ways."
Haruhi's eyes glared fearlessly. Oh no, that is a bad omen!
Haruhi pushed Asahina, who was standing awestruck next to her, towards the president, and then
she grabbed his hand and placed it on Asahina's breast.
"Kyaaa~~!!"
"Wha!?"
Click!
At the sound of the two screaming, I clicked the camera shutter.
Haruhi grabbed Asahina, preventing her from escaping, while her other hand propelled the
president's hand harder into Asahina's breast.
"Kyon! One more picture!"
I reluctantly pressed the shutter again. Asahina, and the nameless president, you have my
sincerest apologies. Just as Haruhi was about to stuff the president's hand under Asahina's skirt,
the president finally broke free.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"
Haruhi waved her finger elegantly at the furiously blushing president.
"Uh uh uh! We now have photographic evidence of you sexually harassing our members! If you
don't want the school to know about these photos, then hand over the computer!"
"What kind of joke is this!?"
The president protested furiously. I totally understand how you feel, man.
"You forcefully grabbed my hand! I'm innocent!"
"Oh really? You can try explaining, but who's going to believe you?"
I turned and looked at Asahina lying on the ground paralyzed. She must have been in so much
shock that all energy had left her.
On the other hand, the president continued to resist.
"My members are witnesses to my innocence! That was not of my own will!"
The three members who were standing dumbstruck all nodded their heads vehemently.
"That's right!"
"The president is innocent!"
If Haruhi could listen to you guys, then she wouldn't be Suzumiya Haruhi.
"All right, then I'll just say you guys gang-raped Asahina!"
At this instance, everyone's face turned white, including mine and Asahina's. Oh god, did it
really have to come to this?
"S... Suzumiya-san...!"
Asahina desperately looped her arms around Haruhi's feet, but Haruhi simply kicked them off.
Haruhi then lifted her chest and arrogantly said:
"So how about it? Are you giving us one or not?"
The president's face went from red to white, finally turning dark.
In the end, he surrendered.
"Just pick one and get out!"
Having said that, the president sat down dejectedly. His members all rushed towards him.
"President!"
"Get a hold of yourself!"
"Are you all right?"
The president's head drooped like a puppet whose strings were broken. Seeing such a broken
figure, even as Haruhi's companion, I couldn't help but shed a tear of sadness for him.
"Which one is the latest model?"
You're such a cold-blooded girl!
"Why should we tell you!?"
The angry members continued their meager resistance, but Haruhi simply pointed at me and my
camera.
"D... damn it! That one!"
Haruhi looked in the direction the member pointed and inspected the model and serial number of
the computer. Then, she took out a piece of paper from her skirt pocket.
"I went to the electronics store and asked for a list of the latest models. This doesn't seem to be
one of them."
This girl has everything so meticulously planned that it's becoming scary.
After inspecting all the other computers, Haruhi pointed to one of them.
"I want this one."
"W... wait! We just bought that last month!"
"Camera."
"... T-take it, you thieves!"
Like he said, we were truly thieves.
Haruhi's greed knew no bounds. After plucking all the cables and wires, she moved all the
necessary equipment back to the Literature Club room without consideration. She then had the
Computer Study Group people reinstall the wires for us and had them lay two internet cables
from their room to ours, so we could use the internet. She even forced them to set up an intranet
for us. Her despicable ways are no different from a robber!
"Asahina-senpai."
Being helpless the whole time, I could only slowly pick up a devastated Asahina, who was
kneeling on the ground, covering her face and sobbing endlessly.
"Let's go back."
"Sob..."
Haruhi, you idiot, can't you grope your own breasts!? For someone who undresses in front of
guys without a second thought, this is nothing! I comforted Asahina, while mumbling about what
on earth Haruhi wanted a computer for.
Very soon, I would find out.
And that is to make an SOS Brigade website!
All right, here comes the question: Who should make the website?
"You, of course!" Haruhi said.
"Since you're so free, you might as well do it! I'm busy looking for the remaining members!"
The computer was placed on the desk with the "Brigade Commander" pyramid. Haruhi added
while surfing the net with her mouse:
"Have it completed in the next day or two. We won't be able to do anything without a webpage."
Asahina's body lay over the desk, her shoulders shivering, next to where Nagato Yuki is sitting,
who as usual just reads her book, ignoring everything. Seems like I'm the only one who heard
what Haruhi was saying. I had no choice but to comply with her. At least I'm pretty sure that's
what Haruhi thought.
"I can't do anything even if you say that."
That's what I wanted to say, to be honest. I'm not used to receiving orders from Haruhi! The only
reason I agreed is because it's a webpage. I haven't done it before, but it does sound interesting.
And so, my arduous webpage design began on the second day.
Having said that, it was much easier than I thought. Because the guys from Computer Study
Group already had all the software installed on the hard drive, all I needed to do was just follow
the program and do some copy and pasting, and that was it.
The problem is, what should I write on the website?
Right now, I still don't know what the SOS Brigade is about, so I had absolutely nothing to write
about. After writing 'Welcome to the SOS Brigade Home Page!' on the top, I simply stopped.
"Hurry up and finish it, you hear?" Haruhi's words sounded like a curse ringing through my ears,
so I had to use my lunch time to continue my designing while having my lunch.
"Nagato-san, do you have any ideas on what to write?" I asked Nagato, who seemed to come
here even during lunch break.
"Not really."
She didn't look up. I know this is none of my business, but I'm curious as to whether she even
pays attention in class.
Turning my eyes from Nagato back to the 17 inch monitor, I fell into deep thought again.
I suddenly thought of a problem: what would happen if the school found out that a yet-to-berecognized
association is using their bandwidth to host a website?
"It's all right as long as they don't find out!" I imagined Haruhi replying, "If it does gets
discovered, then we'll just abandon the website. This sort of stuff is first come, first served, you
know?"
Really, in some ways I'm rather envious of Haruhi's optimistic and forward-looking attitude!
After making some website links and writing the email address— it's a bit early to set up a
forum— I uploaded the website, which only contained a front page without any details on it.
That should do! After making sure the page could load, I switched off the computer. As I was
about to stretch myself, I was startled to find Nagato standing right behind me.
That's strange, how come I didn't hear her making any footsteps? I didn't know when Nagato
arrived behind me. Her face was as white as a mask. She stared at me with her poker face as
though I was some eye test chart.
"Take this."
She handed me a very thick book, which I impulsively took. It sure is heavy! Looking at the
cover, it was the science fiction novel Nagato was reading a few days ago.
"For you."
After saying that, Nagato left the room without even turning back; I didn't even have time to say
anything. Why are you lending such a thick book to me? At this moment, the bell rang signaling
the end of lunch break. Seems like there aren't a lot of people who respect my opinion.
After I carried the hardback book back to my classroom and sat down, I felt someone poking my
back with a mechanical pencil.
"So, is the website done?"
Haruhi held the edges of the desk and stared at me with a stiff face. I noticed that her notebook
was full of scribbles here and there. I tried to ignore the stares of my classmates and replied:
"It's done all right, but it's a very simple, crappy website."
"That'll do, as long as it has an email address."
Why can't you register your own free email address!?
"That won't do! What if a lot of people sent their mail in and flooded my inbox?"
I don't understand how a newly registered email address could get flooded with mail so quickly.
"That's a secret!"
After saying that, she gave a mysteriously sinister smile. I have a bad feeling about this.
"You'll know once school has ended today, but until then, it's highly classified."
Please, I'd rather you never tell me what it is!
In the sixth period, Haruhi was nowhere to be seen in class. She couldn't have gone home, could
she? That wouldn't be possible. It's probably another bad omen.
Very soon it was the end of class, and I automatically walked towards the club room. Though I
wondered why I did so, my footsteps never stopped. Finally, I arrived at the club room.
"Hello there!"
As expected, there sat Nagato Yuki and Asahina.
I know I'm not one to criticize, but these two sure have a lot of free time on their hands!
Seeing me enter, Asahina greeted me with a relieved expression. Seems like having to spend
time alone with Nagato can be exhausting.
Wait a moment, you just suffered Haruhi's evil clutches yesterday, and you're still coming today?
"Where's Suzumiya-san?"
"God knows. She hasn't been in the class since the sixth period. She's probably off to nick
equipment from somewhere."
"Do I have to do what Suzumiya-san had me do yesterday again...?"
Seeing how depressed Asahina looked, I said gently:
"Don't worry! If she tries doing anything strange to you, I'll do everything I can to stop her. She
can use her own body for blackmail! It's not like I can't beat her when it comes to scuffles!"
"Thank you."
Seeing her bow at me cutely, I really felt like embracing her tightly. But of course I didn't do
that.
"Then I'm counting on you."
"No problem at all!"
Even though I repeatedly assured her, five minutes later, all those reassurances got thrown out
the window, into the sea, and evaporated like a water droplet on the surface of the sun. Oh, how
naive I was!
"Hiya!"
Haruhi greeted us energetically and entered the room, carrying with her two paper bags.
"Sorry guys, I was delayed."
That sure is kind of you! For someone obsessed like Haruhi, to be considerate of others is
probably the last thing on her mind.
Placing the paper bags on the ground, Haruhi turned and locked the door. Asahina reflexively
shuddered upon hearing the door click.
"Suzumiya, what are you planning today? I'll be frank, I'm not going to do anything like
plundering and blackmailing again!"
"What are you talking about? I'd never do such a thing!"
Really? Then how do you explain the computer on the desk!?
"By peaceful means of course! OK, first things first, let's have a look at this."
She pulled out a bunch of A4 papers with some handwriting on top from one of the paper bags.
"These are fliers made to introduce the SOS Brigade to everyone. It took me a lot of hard work
to sneak into the photocopying room and print these 200 fliers!"
Haruhi handed out the fliers to us. So that's why you skipped class, huh? You should count
yourself lucky that you weren't caught. I wasn't interested in what was written on the flier, but
since I've already taken one, I might as well read what it had to say.
The SOS Brigade founding principle:
We, the SOS Brigade, are seeking all sorts of paranormal events in this world. We
welcome anyone who has experienced, is experiencing, or senses that they will
experience any kind of supernatural or mysterious events to come to us for
consultation. We will do our best to answer your questions. Please note, however,
that we do not handle normal paranormal events; it must be a paranormal event
that we deem to be very shocking. Our email address is...
I'm starting to have a faint idea of what the SOS Brigade is all about now. It seems that, no
matter what, Haruhi wanted to indulge herself in the world of science fiction, mystery, and
fantasy novels.
"All right, time to hand out the fliers."
"Where do we do that?"
"At the school entrance. Right now there's still a lot of students who haven't gone home yet."
Yes, yes, yes, whatever you say, ma'am. Just as I'm about to pick up the paper bag with the fliers,
Haruhi stopped me.
"You don't have to go, just me and Mikuru-chan will do."
"What?"
Asahina, who was carrying a flier in her hands, turned her head looking puzzled. I turned and
saw Haruhi fumbling through the other paper bag, taking out something.
"Ta-da!"
Smiling as happily as a robotic cat, Haruhi pulled out a piece of black garment. No, it can't be!
As Haruhi finished emptying the contents of the paper bag from the fourth dimension, I
understood at once why she wanted Asahina to hand the fliers, and I prayed for her well being.
Asahina, may your soul rest in peace!
A black leotard, net stockings, bunny ears, bow tie, white cuffs, and a bunny tail.
Isn't that a bunny girl costume!?
"W... What are those for?" Asahina asked shyly.
"You should know. To dress up as a bunny girl!" Haruhi said matter-of-factly.
"Y-You wouldn't want me to wear that, w-would you?"
"Of course! I even prepared one for you!"
"I... I'm not wearing that!"
"Don't worry, the size will fit you perfectly."
"T-That's not the problem! Y... You wouldn't want me to wear that at the school entrance, wwould
you?"
"Why, of course."
"No! I don't wanna!"
"Stop complaining!"
This is it; she's been targeted. Haruhi leapt onto Asahina, like a mother lion preying upon a
helpless deer, and began tearing off her sailor uniform.
"NOOO..."
"Now be a good girl and don't move!" Haruhi said roughly while swiftly pulling off Asahina's
top, then she moved onto Asahina's skirt. Just as I was about to stop Haruhi's insanity, my eyes
met Asahina's.
"D... DON'T LOOK!!"
Hearing her scream, I hurriedly ran towards the door... Damn it! The door's locked! It took a
while before I could unlock the door and rush out of the room.
Before I left, I took one quick peek — I discovered Nagato reading her book as if nothing had
happened. Doesn't she have anything to say about this!?
I leaned back on the door, hearing Asahina's screams from behind it.
"Kyaa~~!!" "Nooo!" "A... at least let me take them off myself... Sob~~!"
These are mixed in with Haruhi's yells of victory.
"That's great!" "Take that off! Quickly!" "You should have done what I said!"
Damn it, don't ask me to fantasize about what's going on inside!
A moment later, Haruhi's voice came through the door.
"You can come in now!"
As I sighed entering the room, I was greeted by the sight of two beautiful bunny girls. Whether
it's Haruhi or Asahina, they both suit the costume well.
A large part of their backs and cleavage were exposed, the net stockings wrapping their legs
nicely and the pair of bunny ears bouncing above their heads...
Haruhi is skinny but has the right proportions; Asahina is small, but her figure is also perfect. To
be honest, they really are a feast to behold for the eyes!
Just as I was wondering whether to say "The costume suits you," to a crying Asahina, Haruhi
said:
"What do you think?"
And you still have the balls to ask me what I think. Is your skull badly damaged!?
"This is going to grab everyone's attention. At this rate, people will definitely come to get the
flyers!" said Haruhi.
"If you wear such strange costumes out in the open, people are going to look at you funny... Wait
a minute, how come Nagato-san doesn't need to wear this?"
"I only bought two sets. Since they come with accessories, they're very expensive."
"Where'd you buy this stuff anyway?"
"On the net."
"... I see."
Just as I was wondering when Haruhi became taller than me, I noticed she was wearing highheeled
shoes as well.
Haruhi picked up the paper bag containing the flyers.
"Let's go, Mikuru-chan."
Asahina crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at me pleadingly. I could only stare at
her in her bunny girl outfit.
I'm sorry, I just couldn't dredge up any resistance.
Asahina tried to grab the table and resist, sobbing like a kid, but she was no match for Haruhi's
strength. She was dragged away by Haruhi, and the two bunny girls disappeared from the room.
Just as I sat down dejectedly, feeling guilty of myself...
"That."
Nagato Yuki pointed on the ground. I looked and saw two sailor uniforms lying there... Erm, is
that a bra I just saw?
The short-haired, spectacled girl pointed at the cabinet at the other side of the room and then
went back to reading her book.
Can't you pick up the clothes yourself!?
I sighed and went to pick up their clothes, placing them in the cabinet. Ah~!, you could feel their
body heat on the clothes. They're still warm!
Half an hour later, an exhausted Asahina returned. Whoa, her eyes are as red as a bunny's, I'd
better not say anything yet. I hurriedly gave her a chair, and like last time, she simply sat and
drooped towards the table, her shoulders shivering. Looks like she doesn't even have the strength
to change. But facing that naked back of hers, I didn't know where else to look, so I took off my
jacket and draped it across her shivering shoulders. The presence of a sobbing girl and a
bookworm who didn't care about what was going on, along with me who was at a loss with what
to do, had brought the atmosphere of the room to an all-time low. The screams of the Baseball
Club could be heard in the distance.
As I was about to think of what's for dinner tonight, Haruhi returned. The first thing she did was
scowl angrily:
"Damn them! What the hell, those damn teachers! They always get in the way!"
Not sure why she was so angry, I asked:
"Is there a problem?"
"I hadn't even handed out half the fliers and in comes a stupid teacher asking us to stop handing
them out! What the hell is wrong with him?"
You moron. If the teachers ignored something like students dressing up as bunny girls and
handing out flyers at the school entrance, then that'd be abnormal!
"Mikuru-chan was nearly in tears, and I got taken to see the Principal, and then that Okabe from
the Handball Club came!"
I guess the Principal and Okabe-sensei probably didn't know where to place their eyes when
looking at you dressed like that.
"Man, this pisses me off! That's it for today! Dismissed!"
Haruhi slowly took off her bunny ears and then proceeded to remove her bunny girl costume. I
immediately rushed out of the room.
"How long are you going to cry like that? Hurry up and change!"
I leaned on the corridor wall and waited for them to change. Seems like Haruhi isn't really a born
exhibitionist, it's just that she has no idea what effect the sight of her being half naked would
have on guys. The reason she dressed herself up in a bunny costume wasn't really to show her
sexy body, but rather to attract people's attention.
At this rate, there's no way she can experience a normal romantic relationship.
I wish she could be more considerate of how the guys think. At least be considerate for me!
Honestly, to hang out with such a crazy person is really exhausting. Besides, for Asahina's sake I
had to wish for that. Right... Nagato-san, at least let us know what your opinion is!
A while later, Asahina emerged from the room, giving a sad expression of someone who had just
failed her exams. She needed to support herself on the wall or she would surely fall. Not
knowing what to say to her, I could only stand in silence.
"Kyon-kun..."
Her dreamy voice sounds like one of those ghosts from the haunted sunken cruise ships.
"If something should happen so I cannot become a bride, will you take me...?"
Erm, what should I say? And, why are you calling me Kyon as well!?
Asahina returned my jacket to me in a robotic way. Just as I was wondering if she would fall into
my chest and cry, she'd already walked away.
Damn... such a pity!
The next day, Asahina took the day off.
Haruhi was already famous enough in school, but after the bunny girl incident, her name and
eccentricity had become the stuff of school legends. Not that I really mind, since I'm not really
responsible for Haruhi's actions!
What I do mind is, Suzumiya Haruhi's actions have caused everyone to start gossiping about
Asahina Mikuru as well. That, and the odd glares I receive from everyone at school.
"Hey, Kyon... seems like you're having a fun time with Suzumiya..."
Taniguchi said to me in a sympathetic tone after school. "I never thought you would become
good friends with her... looks like nothing is impossible in this world!"
Ah, shut up!
"I was surprised yesterday! Seeing bunny girls while I was heading home, I thought I was
dreaming!"
Kunikida joined in the conversation, carrying a familiar flier with him.
"What is this SOS Brigade? What's it about?"
Go ask Haruhi that question. I don't know, nor do I want to. Even if I did, I don't feel like telling
you!
"It asks us to provide any paranormal events, but it doesn't define what those are. And, what does
it mean by not handling normal paranormal events?"
Even Asakura Ryouko came to have a word with me.
"You guys seem to be doing some interesting stuff. But if it's something that's way overboard, I
advise you to stop at once. Honestly, you guys went too far yesterday."
If I had known, I would have taken the day off as well today!
Haruhi is still mad. On one hand, she's mad that the teachers stopped her from handing out the
fliers; on the other hand, she's mad that the SOS Brigade email inbox is completely empty. I
expected one or two prank mails in the inbox, but it turns out people were more rational than I
thought. Perhaps no one wanted to have anything to do with Haruhi and get themselves in
trouble?
Haruhi scowled at the empty inbox, shaking the optical mouse vigorously.
"Why isn't anyone sending any mail in?"
"There wasn't any yesterday nor today. Maybe everyone does have experiences they could tell,
but just can't trust a suspicious looking club like ours?"
I tried to explain unconvincingly.
Have you experienced any paranormal events? Yes. Oh, that's great, then please tell me. All
right, actually...
Please! It's not as if something like that would happen, OK? Now you listen, Haruhi! Those sorts
of things would only occur in a comic book or novel. Real life is very cruel and strict. Things
like a conspiracy to destroy the world from a normal prefecture high school, mutant organisms
wandering in a peaceful suburban area, or a spaceship hidden inside a mountain, all these things
are impossible. Impossible! You hear me? You understand now, don't you? All your eccentric
behavior is a result of you not being able to find a way to release your unhappy emotions, isn't
that right? But, it's time for you to wake up. You should settle down and find a boyfriend who
would take you home every day and to the movies on Sundays, or maybe you should join some
sports clubs to release your excess energy. With your abilities, you'd get into the first team in no
time, becoming an active member.
...I had wanted to say more, but I had only thought up to five lines when Haruhi's fists came
waving over, so I'd better stop here.
"Mikuru-chan took the day off today, I hear?"
"Maybe she's not coming back. Such a poor girl, I hope she's not traumatized by yesterday's
events."
"Damn, and I prepared a new costume for her to try on today!"
"Can't you try them on yourself!?"
"Of course I can! It's just that it'll be too boring without Mikuru-chan."
Nagato Yuki blended in with the background as though she were invisible. Strange, why are you
so obsessed with Asahina; why can't you for once try the costume on Nagato and force her to
play along with you? I know I shouldn't say this, but thinking about it, I'd like to see how the
normally expressionless Nagato would look in that bunny girl costume. She'd definitely give a
feeling different from the often crying Asahina.
The transfer student Haruhi had expected had finally arrived!
Haruhi told me the news before homeroom one day.
"Don't you think it's great? He's really coming!"
Haruhi leaned forward towards me, speaking excitedly. Her bright smile was like a kindergarten
kid finally getting the toy she wants.
I don't know where she heard it from, but the transfer student is going to be in Class 1-9.
"This is a chance in a lifetime. It's a pity he isn't in the same class, but he's definitely a
mysterious transfer student, there's no mistake!"
You haven't even met him, so how do you even know if he's a mysterious transfer student?
"Didn't I say it before? A high percentage of those that get transferred in the middle of the school
term are abnormal."
Who on earth made such a statistic? I guess that is a mystery in itself.
If everyone who gets transferred in the middle of May is abnormal, then there'd be loads of
mysterious transfer students all over Japan.
But, Haruhi's way of thinking cannot be confined by logic. After the first session bell rang,
Haruhi instantly ran out of the classroom. She probably went to visit the Mystery Transfer
Student in Class 1-9.
Just before the bell rang to signal the beginning of class, Haruhi returned with a confused face.
"So is he a mysterious transfer student...?"
"Hmm... doesn't feel like one."
Of course he doesn't!
"I did talk to him, but I still don't have enough information. Maybe he's just putting up a front as
a normal person; I believe that's highly probable. After all, it's not like they would expose their
real identities on the day they transferred. I'll go ask again at the next recess."
Please don't go ask again! I can imagine the Class 1-9 students, who had nothing to do with
Haruhi, being scared to death by her sudden appearance while she grabbed one of the students to
ask, "Where's the transfer student?", before she rushed towards him. That, or she would barge in
when he was having a conversation with his friends and interrogate the startled transfer student
with questions like "Where are you from? Who are you really?"
At this moment, I thought of something else.
"Is the transfer student a guy or a girl?"
"Though there's a possibility of a disguise, he appears to be a guy."
Then he is a guy!
Seems like the SOS Brigade has a chance of recruiting another male member besides me. Haruhi
might just drag that transfer student in without hearing his opinion simply because he's new. But,
he may not be as nice as me or Asahina. Can she really bring him into the club? No matter how
strong-willed Haruhi is, someone with a strong opinion would simply ignore her!
As long as we have the numbers, the "Suzumiya Haruhi Brigade to Bring More Excitement to
the World" would be formed as an association. No matter if the school recognizes it or not, the
person that has to do all the paperwork and menial tasks is most likely to be... me! For the next
three years, I will have to carry the name of "Subordinate of Suzumiya Haruhi" and live my days
in despair.
I hadn't thought of what I want to do when I graduate, but I knew that I wanted to go to a
university, so I had to watch my behavior. But as long as I'm with Haruhi, it seems that this wish
could never become true.
What should I do?
I couldn't think of anything.
I know I should have just confronted Haruhi, had her dismiss the SOS Brigade, and then tried my
best to persuade her to live a normal high school life. Perhaps I could have gotten her to stop
thinking about aliens and time travelers, settle down and find a boyfriend, or join some sports
club, and be content with these three years of high school.
Sigh, it would be great if I could have done that!
If I'd have had stronger willpower, I wouldn't have gotten sucked so helplessly into the whirlpool
centered around Suzumiya Haruhi. I would have peacefully lived out these three years of high
school and graduated normally.
... Hopefully, it would have been like that!
However, the reason I'm saying this is because of the strange events afterwards that have
happened to me; I believe everyone understands now?
Where should I begin?
Right, let's start from when the transfer student first arrived at our club room.